if you :: ask me to

i'll go up to the mountain
if you ask me to
up over the clouds
to where the sky is blue
i'll see all around me
everywhere...
i'll see you standing before me
just right there...

sometimes I feel like
i've never been nothing but tired
and that i'll just be walking
till the day i expire
sometimes i lay down
feel no more can i do...
but i'll go on again
because you ask me to...

some days i look down
and i'm afraid that i'll fall
and though the sun may shine
i'll see nothing at all
but i'll wait to hear your sweet voice
come and linger...
just telling me softly
that you love me so...

1 Cor 13 :: 4

i know you have questions
same ones as me
how long has it been
how long will it be
when will come the morning
we'll drive the night away
we'll wait till come the morning
of a brighter day...
~
L'amour est patient, il est plein de bonté...

Time in :: a Bottle

We were walking through the new Ikea Tampines when we spotted a jar by the check-out. Someone had stuffed a bear into the jar and screwed the top back on. So we decided to rescue the little bear and somehow we decided that it should have a home...

And thus begun Bottle's adventures with us. He's been to cafes, to cinemas, to posh restaurants, been a source of joy for little kids everywhere we go, even gone to church and to many many more places. More importantly, Bottle has been a bottle of joy for us...

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you...

- zayam

:: Amor ::

Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur

Wouldn't you :: do this for me

Wouldn't you do this for me
If I were reachin' out to you
Wouldn't you try to save my life,
If I needed you to
Wouldn't you do this for me?

Holding :: On

You know we are born with wings to fly
Yet sometimes we can’t reach that high
Because it feels like the sky is falling down
Against all odds, against the rain
We dig our heels in to slow that train
So many wishes in the lost and found
Just one little thing
Can turn it all around

At times we win, at times we lose
Sometimes life puts a rock in your shoe
But something in you keeps you walking on
Leave the fear and doubt in the past
Just believe, don’t look back
Sometimes it feels like an endless fight
All up hill,
But that’s all right

Holding on to a dream
Trying to keep hope alive
You can reach out to me
You can reach down deep inside
When the whole world’s gone insane
A ray of light remains
The days you know it seems
Sometimes the hardest thing is
Holding on to a dream

Little :: Heaven

Have you ever been to a nice place and realised that you really were not having much fun, that the experience was somehow incomplete, because you were there alone? If so, then we can come to understand a basic human need – the need to share good times with the people we love.

Not that it is impossible to enjoy ourselves when we are alone. Of course it is, we have a need for solitude, too – at least occasionally, today being Ash Wednesday, I am reminded that Christ began His forty days in the wilderness alone. Therefore, sometimes being alone is necessary in order to take time to collect our thoughts in silence and nurture ourselves. But the first in the hierarchy of human needs is still the necessity for companionship and connectedness. In its highest expression, we call this love. Human beings seek it to be happy, just as they aspire for a glimpse of the joys of heaven. That is the way we are built.

How can we know this for sure? Well, remember that God created Eve because Adam was lonely and the Lord could not bear the thought of Adam being by himself. By creating love, we are given a foretaste of heaven, and we are given the joy that makes the heart leap. And we share that with our friends and loved ones. People often say things like "It is the thought that counts" – no, it is not the thought that counts, it is the love that counts, it is the love that has gone into the gift - no matter how useless or hapless it may seem – that counts.

I want to see beyond the fancy gifts or expensive presents and find the love that went into giving it. That is more joyful to me then the gift itself, because it is to be reminded that, yes, someone was thinking of me and thought me worthy of a gift. That is my little heaven, it is my heart returning from a whirlwind vacation – refreshed, rejuvenated and rejoicing...

- zayam

New :: Spring

喜辰贺喜普世颂主名
Wish joy this joyful season and praise the Lord on high,
春节迎春天父赐天霖。
Welcome Spring this Springtime as the Lord bestows the dew of life.

May this new year be one filled with everlasting joy, overflowing abundance, blissfull love and every blessing of the Lord!

- zayam

Smiling back :: at me

When she gets that sleep in her eyes,
And she settles in with her head on my chest,
Why do I feel like my heart's gonna burst?
That I'm willing to die for this angel at rest?

And why am I filled with unshakeable faith,
When I look at a beauty so peerless and sweet?
There's something eternal I see in her face,
Something much more than both her and me.

Maybe I'm looking at the face of love.
Makes me think I may be looking at the face of love,
And she's smiling back at me.

Why do I feel like the smallest of things,
When I try to count all the stars in the sky?
When I see the world that we're in at its worst,
Why do I feel like it'll all be all right?

I can't see the wind as it moves through the trees.
So how do I know that I know that I know,
That here is someone waiting by me
Saying: "I love you and you're not alone."

Maybe I'm looking at the face of love.
Makes me think I may be looking at the face of love,
And she's smiling back at me.

Oh, I know that I know that I know that she’s right here.
Right here beside me.
When I look at the beauty beside me,
And the love that surrounds me.

Maybe I'm looking at the face of love.
Makes me think I may be looking at the face of love,
And she's smiling back at me.
Maybe I'm looking at the face of love.
And she's smiling back at me.

Accept :: Love

Teach me to love, O Lord, as You love,
Make it unconditional, honest, and kind,
To ask nothing back in return, Lord,
To be your sign for all of mankind.

May I offer my love without speaking,
May it radiate as it shines forth from me,
May it be seen in my face and my eyes, Lord,
May it be simple, sincere, and shame free.

Show me how to forgive, Lord, as You do,
To not burden another with guilt,
To not play the role of the martyr,
To be a rock on which trust may be built.

Make my love for her be greater by far
Than any love that is offered to me,
Led by the Spirit, Inspired of God,
As forgiving as Jesus...and free.

Welcome, reach out, take on, to make part of me...

Up until now, I had refused to make love the whole reason for my existence. It seemed just too simple, too good to be true. Now, having recieved it into my heart with openess, I have truly experienced its beauty and awed by its splendour...

So many walls have crumbled since the day I found myself anew in her, accepting my limitations, finding healing for my wounds, knowing who I really am.

I remain ever ready to fight endlessly so that love will continue to grow deep in my heart. I know it cannot be boxed up or kept in one place, for it must have soace to grow constantly greater...

Thank you, thank you for accepting me, thank you for being who you have been, are and will always be to me. For I though so lowly, have been deemed worthy by so rare a rose as you.

Happy Valentine's Day... my Valentine.

- zayam

day 36 of 36 - reflections on the 36 ways to love...